In a Moment - Issue 29

As I came into consciousness last Sunday morning, I found my body achy, my head throbbing. For these symptoms to arise approximately 16 hours after my second vaccine dose wasn't surprising. I had read the stories and heard the anecdotes, I was prepared to feel a bit crummy.

What surprised me was how I met these symptoms.

Typically when an illness finds me, I embark on a fight. I have been known to partake in a myriad of natural remedies -- elderberry syrup, fire cider, a ginger epsom salt bath, the list goes on. And while all of these remedies are in themselves helpful, and may even help stave off a cold or shorten the duration of the crummy feeling, my pursuit of them was rooted in something else.

If I get a cold or the flu, I so rarely let myself be sick. Instead, I move into “doing-mode.” I view the illness as something to be fixed. I pile on the remedies, I try to push myself through. I do whatever I can to try to make the illness go away. When the most helpful thing is likely to stop doing and to instead rest and to let my body be.

What was different about last week was my acceptance. I knew I might feel crummy and I also recognized that there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't see my body succumbing to symptoms as a defeat, rather I allowed my immune system to engage as it was designed to in response to a vaccine.

I began thinking about how often I let my mind take the driver’s seat when my body is signaling something (an illness, an injury, or simply exhaustion). I get into that “doing-mode” trying to fix, solve, or correct.

When the answer, oftentimes, is to simply be.

To be present to what is arising.

To be curious about what I’m feeling.

To offer a bit of kindness and compassion.

And to rest.