In a Moment - Issue 8
I started this project almost two months ago with a simple intention. I want to help people cultivate calm in their lives. I have often heard from others that I possess a calming presence. My patience, a virtue often praised. However, these “traits” are not innate. They are things that I have cultivated over time. Through self-reflection and through practices.
The implementation of new practices/rituals/routines can feel daunting. I’ve found that I would start a new practice by setting very specific parameters to ensure success. For example, when I first developed my meditation practice I imposed the following rules.
Every morning upon waking.
20 minutes.
Seated upright.
Silent.
Well, the most continuity I was ever able to experience was maybe 3 days in a row and that was a rarity. Inevitably something would come up, an early meeting, a late night, travel for work. And if I couldn’t do my practice exactly as I had defined, I’d forgo it completely. This start/stop approach led to disappointment, frustration, a feeling of failure.
So I changed my approach. I created a new set of guidelines for developing a meditation practice.
Do it every day, no matter what it looks like.
With this new approach, I could sit for 20 minutes in silence, or mindfully wash the dishes, or sit with my breath for 5 breaths, or throw legs up the wall for a few minutes or sit with my dog Winston for a few moments. It didn’t matter so much about what the practice looked like, it was more about practicing consistently. Making a commitment to taking time each day for a mindfulness practice.
It was through this approach that I found I began to more easily integrate meditation daily. It evolved into a practice that works for me. Now, a few years later, my practice looks pretty much the same from day to day, but I still allow for flexibility. If it doesn’t happen early in the morning, that’s just fine. I look for a window later in the day to come to the practice. If I can’t commit 20 minutes, 5 will do. It’s more about taking that time every day.
So what might a calm-cultivating practice look like for you?