The choice of connecting
A week and a half ago, my household welcomed a new, temporary member, a 1-year-old puppy we’ve been calling George (as in Costanza). We are fostering this new dog as an experiment to see what it would feel like to add a second dog to our family and a way to do a bit of good. Unsurprisingly, much of my day-to-day has been upended with the introduction of this new creature – new walk schedules and eating routines, new playtimes and training sessions. And while it's been a big shift, I am grateful for this experience. In this short time, George has already taught me so much.
One of these new routines has been inviting George on my morning walks. We've learned that George benefits from a long walk at the start of the day. It allows him to discharge his early morning energy and seems to set him up to be a bit more calm and grounded. Morning walks have been an informal mindfulness practice for me for years. During these walks, I practice noticing – noticing the environment around me through my senses and noticing the interior landscape of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
With the introduction of George, I've added another layer of noticing. Noticing the impact of my energy on another living being and the impact of their energy on me. When we start out on our walk, George is eager and excited. Brooklyn is still very new to this Texas-born pup. He bounds out the door, sniffing and snorting along. He pulls at the leash with his excitement. And at times, I follow his pace. Quickening my steps and matching his enthusiasm. But I've noticed that with a faster pace, George's energy continues to amplify. Sometimes, he exhibits more exaggerated behaviors such as biting at his leash or jumping up on approaching dogs. Knowing he is still a pup and learning, much of this is understandable.
However, I've learned in these moments if we pause, take a moment to connect with each other, and resume our walk at a slower pace, his behavior shifts, too. He takes on a more steady pace. I feel the slack of the leash as he no longer pulls, and for a moment, we're in a moment of ease. This lasts for a few moments or sometimes a few blocks, depending on the number of squirrels running around.
In many Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) courses, the concept of the "wedge of awareness" is introduced. It's the idea that when we practice awareness, we can notice the moments in which our mind pulls us into reactivity. And it's that moment of noticing that we have a choice. We can choose to run along with the mind as it sniffs and roots around. Or we can pause, connect to the feeling of our feet on the ground, or take refuge in our breath.
And what's more, this practice of noticing doesn't only benefit us. It has the potential to impact those around us. In each moment, we have an opportunity to support those around us and to awaken an experience of ease, joy, calm, or safety.