In a Moment - Issue 16

A few weeks ago and friend and I were talking about the concepts of capacity and capability. She was overwhelmed by the amount of work she had to do and was conflicted about asking for help or even saying “no” to one of her projects. As we talked, I commented that just because she didn't have the space to take on this new project by herself, it didn't change her ability to do the work.

The ideas of capability and capacity can blur together. It seems there is a belief that because I am capable, meaning I have the skill, talent, experience or innate ability to do something, then surely I must have the capacity to do it as well. That sense of "should" begins to emerge and brings with it all the "shouldiness" feelings of obligation, guilt, and perhaps even shame.

When in reality what we're capable of is very different than what we have the capacity to take on. We are all capable of a myriad of things based on what we've been born into and what we've experienced in this life.

However, just because we are capable, doesn't mean we have the capacity to take on new things.

Capacity is more than having the time to do something.

It becomes an exploration of space.

Do I have the space to take this on?

Physical space?

Emotional space?

Mental space?

Space in my calendar?

So often we jam in too many things because of the shoulds. Because we believe that if we are capable of doing something then we should do it. Rather than asking ourselves, do we have the space, the resources, the support to do it?

Over the next few days consider making an agreement with yourself. An agreement to make a decision based on your capacity, not what you’re capable of. Make this decision truly honoring where you are in this moment, recognizing the space that you have. How does it feel to make a decision from this place?