Embracing Uncertainty
Last week I did something I've dreamt of doing for years; I left my full-time agency job to pursue a career rooted in my passion for mindfulness.
My initial approach to this transition was unsurprisingly methodical, considering my 15+ year career as a project manager and my Virgo moon. I visualized a runway allowing me to "land the plane" of my current career. I saw myself de-boarding this plane with all the lessons I had learned, neatly packed into my carry-on bag, and entering a terminal of new possibilities.
The process of building this runway was slow and arduous. As I was working a demanding full-time job, I couldn't pour all of my energy into creating this runway. Instead, I slowly chipped away at its construction in the pockets of time I found in early mornings, late evenings, or weekends. Over time I began to see the runway take shape. This transition felt on the horizon.
However, as I've also learned, things often don't go according to plan. Circumstances began to change around me. I watched as these pockets of time began to slip away. If I continued on the painstaking path of constructing a perfectly planned runway, I might miss out on this opportunity to land the plane. For this transition to occur, I couldn't wait until the runway was complete. I was going to need to parachute.
A week ago, I attended a collage workshop hosted by Laura Temple, the founder of Held Space. As I poured through magazines, looking for images that reflected this feeling of leaping into the unknown, I came across the phrase: Embrace Uncertainty. Now Uncertainty has always been something I've tried to avoid. It feels uncomfortable, unknown, unclear. Hell, it's straight-up frightening at times.
But the thing with Uncertainty is that it's inevitable. As the writer Madeleine Dore puts it so accurately, "Perhaps we need to normalize not knowing what's next -- because we never really do."
As I planned and built this runway, I was also trying to avoid Uncertainty. I was trying to control the situation to ensure my safe landing. However, with this quest, I was also limiting possibilities. If I had successfully built this concrete runway, I would have been limited to the plan I had erected. I would likely walk from one plane to another. And I may have unintentionally closed doors and opportunities through this narrowed approach. As I contemplated certainty, I was reminded of the words of the writer Katherine May, "Certainty is a dead space, in which there's no room to grow."
And so I leaped into the unknown. I Embraced Uncertainty.
I am exploring the edges of the unknown with a lens of curiosity and the hope of possibility. I know that I’m not alone in this exploration as I have the support of friends, family, colleagues and YOU as you read this today. I know that I get to bring with me all the lessons I’ve learned, skills I’ve honed and tools I’ve developed. And while I'm not clear on where I'll land, I know I have an adventure ahead of me.